Beneath the Financials ...

How sad, it must not be known, never.

I am a person who is very transparent with what I feel as this is where I get my energy.

For music, for communication.

I can only hide the pain I feel in this business that I’m doing, for the sake of my unborn organization. And so is this ardent feeling of longing.

I’m happy that you’re finally interacting with me, that is in a jovial and casual way. It makes me, think, will you take notice after I made a sale? Will you still talk to me even if that’s the only sale I did?

But I’ll let this moment last longer than it should, I’ll dwell on it even if I shouldn’t. Why? It maybe the only time he’ll ever be this jovial to me. This point in time, a tangent of fantasy and reality intersecting at some various space continuum.

I wish I could tell you straight forward how much I really want to be with you. That I want to be where you are, that you make my heart want you. I just wish I could. By next week, I’ll be seeing you less often. It will be a sad day not to see you, or to see you for a short while.

But I can’t. I can’t tell you how much I like you. I just can’t tell you those things. I’m too afraid to do so. I can’t risk the only thing that bonds me with you. I know that when I tell you that I like you, you will hate me, you will avoid me. You’ll never be jovial to me, even if I sold more than 7 units. I can’t afford to not feel a sliver of a connection from you.

You’re more than just my business coach, you reminded me what it’s like to aspire, to set a goal, to dream, to live. I owe you that. I am not yet what I dreamed of, but with your help, I can be. Thank you for that, I owe you my future, you taught me how to dream, to aspire, to persevere. Just the mere fact that you acknowledge my dedication and persistence in this ruthless but fun business is already a kiss on my lips from you. Thank You, I’ll never forget what you’re done for me.

For now, it’s better this way that you don’t know how much you truly mean to me, as a business coach and … my love. You don’t need to know all this much about me. I keep this to myself, this will be a mystery that I’ll hold, so that you don’t get to know all of me, so you’ll search me when the right time comes. It’s better that you don’t know all about me, so you can search me.

We’ll see each other tomorrow, so I need to go to sleep. Tomorrow would be the last day I’ll spend the entire day with you, starting Monday I’ll only get to see you on evenings. What a sad day indeed, my hidden love. Auf Wiedersehen.